WFL Weekly 5 - Week 7: Beer
There's not much better in this world than a cold beer. Beer has something for everyone. There are light beers, dark beers, IPAs, fruity beers, whatever floats your boat. There are even beers for different situations. The famous shower beer, a pool beer (both at the pool, and playing pool), the "at the game" beer is a classic, and of course a beer at the bar. These are very rare occasions where beer isn't a catalyst towards having a good time (let's be honest, any occasion is a good time for a beer), and I'd be hard-pressed for you to find a place that wouldn't get better with beer. I'd encourage you to ponder your own favorite beer, and favorite place to enjoy one. Go to your happy place 😃
(Apologies, this is the result of being on vacation)
And with that, without further ado, it’s time to rock n roll!
Biggest Winner:
Rico Suave (Johnny) - The mad trader may have arrived. Make that 3 wins a row for Rico Suave, who has climbed to 7th place in the WFL and is now much more than knocking on the door. Each trade made has certainly been met with differing reactions by his fellow GMs, but there is no doubt that this team is certainly much stronger than it was just 3 weeks ago, and even more so at the beginning of the season. Just how far can this team go? After his big win, we had the chance to sit down and chat with Johnny, asking him if he thought his team is a true contender this year and his prediction for his squad at this point. He told us "Well Mr Reid, it's tough to say. I do believe i put myself in the best position to succeed but this also wholeheartedly depends on when Egbuka can return. I don't think i'll go down easy but we're still raking it 1 week at a time. in terms of positioning i believe I'll be able to sneak into the 6th spot." A lot certainly hinges on the health of Mr. Egbuka, who could be a big player down the stretch if he can stay healthy. It certainly doesn't get any easier this week against the buzzsaw that is I ❤️ Ohio.
Other Winners:
Marvin's Room (Jack) - Are we finally seeing what a full strength Marvin's Room can do? Last week was the result Jack was certainly looking for, as his squad scored a league leading 158 points and knocked off a plucky Cumming… team. Jaxon Smith-Njigba continued his absolute tear of a season, Derrick Henry got back on track, Wan'Dale Robinson looked great with Jaxon Dart, and this team's kicker situation might have just found an answer in Eddy Piniero. A big matchup against Rome wasn't built in a day will be a telling result for both teams in what should be a great matchup.
I ❤️ Ohio (Alejandro) - The train keeps on chugging along for I ❤️ Ohio, as Ale's squad knocked off fellow troll Andy for yet another win. George Pickens & Cam Skattebo were the biggest driving forces in the win, as each scored 30+ points and were almost solely responsible for I ❤️ Ohio's victory. Many have been critics of Ale's trade moves this season, but none have come back to bite him too bad thus far. Now sitting as the WFL's only 5-1 team, I ❤️ Ohio has the opportunity to firmly entrench itself in the driver's seat against a hot but banged up Rico Suave. It may be too soon to think this far in the future, but could we hear two rings when we give him a call in December?
Biggest Loser:
The Bang Bros (Andres) - On the other side of last week's WFL Weekly Game of the Week, was the new look Bang Bros. Cashing in a couple of his bigs chips in hopes of having some overall roster consistency, Andres was banking on his moves jumpstarting his team into achieving some more consistency in their scoring going forward. And the first look we got was… not that. A paltry 94.6 points was all The Bang Bros could muster, as they were blown out of the game water by Rico Suave. Certainly not the result we were expecting, the questions are certainly getting louder about the future of The Bang Bros, whose first returns after finally ending their own trade embargo were far worse than anticipated. After The Bang Bros new roster fell flat last week, we asked Andres what adjustments he might think to make and if he still sees his squad as a playoff contender. He told us "In the words from a teacher of mine from hs all we can do is the following: 1. Don't suck 2. Don't fuck it up." Winning against KRAFT YAC & CHEESE this week while they are still vulnerable is a good way to put any noise to bed, but let's see if they can score some points this week before anything.
Other Losers:
KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew) - Are there more cracks in the foundation than we anticipated for KRAFT YAC & CHEESE? Losing to Wake and Baker Co. last week isn't a huge surprise, but scoring 106 points has to raise some eyebrows. Perhaps that's why we've seen Drew's squad undergo a metamorphosis these last two weeks, as into the starting lineup are Justin Herbert (until Lamar Jackson returns), Ceedee Lamb, Rashee Rice, and eventually James Cook. Is this team better than it was last week though? De'Von Achane, Nico Collins, Javonte Williams, and Jaylen Warren are all elsewhere now. With a much improved (but somewhat risky) WR core and a gutted RB room, it'll be interesting to see if these changes really make a difference going forward, or if KRAFT YAC & CHEESE is starting to go bad.
Underdogs last week - Last week saw a few heavy underdogs fall short of their goals to steal a win, despite giving it an admirable try. Cumming… & Hall of Fame Youtuber both had much better performances than expected, and had they been playing other teams their records might read a little differently. We're starting to see a bit more disparity between some of the league's top teams and its bottom ones, and unfortunately for some of these lovable underdogs, time might have just run out…
Donuts! (Sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.):
And just like that, the donut takeover has begun. Easily a season-high, four WFL teams just couldn't resist getting in on the tasty pastries and this season's era of donuts is off and running. Dread it, run from it, they arrive all the same. Don't fight it, you know you just can't help yourself. Let's review this week's orders!
🍩 Cam Little (KRAFT YAC & CHEESE) - When Cam Little kicked a 70 yard field goal in the preseason, the hype was at an all-time high. Unfortunately for Cam, this might have been the peak of his career as things have not gone as well since. His point total had been Little leading up to this past weekend, and had GM's asking "Cam he do much worse?" Yes. Cam Littleraly had 0 points and earned Drew a big ole donut.
🍩 Tyquan Thornton (I ❤️ Ohio) - Tyquan Thornton has been a nice find for Kansas City this year, stepping up in the absence of other ailing Chiefs WRs. Unfortunately for Tyquan, Patrick Mahomes could not find him against the Raiders, and Ale could not find any points from him on his matchup screen.
🍩 Tyrone Tracy (Rome wasn't built in a day) - Welcome to the donut shop Parker. We've got a special for you today called Skatteblueberry Pie! Those who show proof that they started clear backup Tyrone Tracy, are in line for a special deal as well. You show us at the counter you started Tracy while you order, we announce it on the loudspeaker, and everyone laughs!
🍩 Dalton Kincaid (The Bang Bros) - Another day, another donut from Daniel starting another injur- Wait… Our bad, we just assumed it was Cumming… Well he's not alone now, because Andres saw Dalton Kincaid miss the game and simply did not have a backup option. Might not have happened if he had a co-GM running the squad with him…
Ale’s Trade to Trade Analysis:
*Powered by WussiesGPT*
Arrived to Week 7. About 2 months ago we all came together to draft our teams. Some didn't draft for the first few rounds, one called Bingo, and someone drafted someone already on the board. The consistency you can always count on is trading. Is it Johnny begging you to trade, Jeremias offering you a thought out package, or our league saying VETO, we all love the hit. Let's break things down.
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Drew receives: Ceedee Lamb, Michael Pittman Jr, and LAMAR LAMAR LAMAR
Andy receives: Nico Collins, Javonte Lead Back Williams, Jalen Hurts (To Watch)
We kick off the week of trades with the former commissioner trading with the current one (who seemingly hates his job). We genuinely like the framework of this trade, with Drew silently building a very solid team, some may say atop of the elite. Andy gets rid of his injury scaries (for now, right?) and Drew builds his roster out. Not much drama, we like this. 0/10 Trade to Trade
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Ale Receives: Bru Give Me Diggs Bruh, DK Metcalf, Brock Browers
Jere Receives: Jettas, Rhamondre Stevenson
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Drew Receives: Rashee Rice, James Cook, Tyrone Tracy & Jayden Higgins
Parker Receives: De'Von Achane, Michael Pittman Jr, Jaylen Warren & Ollie Gordon
The former commish decides to make a FLIP! The moment this trade happened, you may have thought your Yahoo notifications would subside, but Drew decides to drop half of his haul. If you reference the Trade to Trade ByLaws (see section "Won The Trade - Njoku"), the one who drops their haul seems to win the trade? Right? Jeremias dropped Njoku after sending Pitts, and still won the trade. Here we feel it's pretty dead set even, but slightly leaning Parker (bias on TNF). This is a nice trade, really getting a potential league winner in the now chiefs WR1 and the sole provider of fantasy value from the dolphins ground game to Parker. Nicely done gents. 1/10 Trade to Trade
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Johnny Tried to Get: Harold Fannin Jr
Fab Said "Yeah Run It" and (?) got: Jerry Jeudy
The tradegate has hit the WFL, and it couldn't have been conceived in a better way. Fabian, a manager no stranger to drama and controversy (reference the Pre-WFL historic league; where Fabian begged for vetoes or encouraged them at 7:20AM), he finds himself at the center of the funniest and dumbest trade attempt ever received in this newsletter. The trade goes through, and in normal ragebait fashion, Alejandro decides to slam the hammer down on the winner and loser by including a (Limited) fantasy practice news for Jerry. Hilariously, this seemed to derail Hall of Fame YouTuber. Fabian, who threatened to block Johnny, and Johnny who seemed to see his dopamine slip away began the investigation into this trade. As is well put by CEO of the Trade Committee Jeremias, "just make a better trade". If the trade is sent to WFL Weekly, and you have no qualms, that's it. Final. No misconstrued language, no backtracking, zip. This is 100% a trade to trade, and we really feel Johnny just begged for one here. Drama unfolding over 2 players who are arguably droppable is among the funniest drama we've seen so far. Nobody wins, and there's certainly no reason for this deal other for it other to inflate numbers.
These guys are CHOPPED.
10/10 Attempted Trade to Trade
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Parker receives: Keon Coleman and Sam LaPorta
Johnny receives: Elic Ayomanor and Luther Burden III
My reaction is just : "Parker Won the Trade, Johnny Might be Chopped"
THE WFL HIERARCHY
*Proudly sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc. & written by Drew*
The WFL Hierarchy is proud to be sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.’s NEW Crack, Don’t Crumble Series! Don’t forget to check-in every week, we’ll be rolling out new items throughout the season.
Featured Cookie of the Week: Marvin's Room Macaroons!
1. Worse than WHL (Jeremias)
2. Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah)
3. andy (Andy)
4. Marvin’s Room (Jack)
5. I ❤️ Ohio (Alejandro)
6. KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew)
7. Rome Wasn't Built in a Day (Parker)
8. Build the Waller (Eric)
9. The Bang Bros (Andres)
10. Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian)
11. Rico Suave (Johnny)
12. Cumming… (Daniel)
Risers
Worse than WHL (Jeremias)
For the second consecutive week, Jeremias finds himself in our riser section. He has pulled off a series of trades over the last few weeks that consolidated all of his WR depth into Mike Evans and Justin Jefferson. Whether or not this was the right move? Only time will tell. But as Mike Evans is seemingly on the verge of returning this week, Worse than WHL is at full strength and now claims the throne atop the WFL Hierarchy. Jeremias moves up 2 spots to number 1.
andy (Andy)
andy made a blockbuster trade with KRAFT YAC & CHEESE this week, swapping out Lamb, Lamar, and MPJ for Hurts, Nico, and Javonte. After what was a horribly injury riddled start to the season, this trade gives andy a clean bill of health, and he finds himself squarely back where we would expect a team with multiple 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round draft picks. Andy moves up 3 spots and into the top 3.
Fallers
Rome Wasn't Built in a Day (Parker)
We said in our first ever WFL Hierarchy column that this team "has the firepower to win every matchup, but we worry about depth as bye weeks and injuries start to pile up…". And well, disaster has struck. Puka is sidelined for at least the next two weeks and while Parker attempted to patch things up with yet another blockbuster trade made by KRAFT YAC & CHEESE, it seems like this could be too little too late for Parker's playoff dreams in the WFL season. Just as Rome fell, so does Parker down 5 spots in the WFL Hierarchy to 7th place.
Minor Adjustments
Rico Suave (Johnny)
Johnny moves down one spot after the injury to Emeka Egbuka, and for finessing himself in a trade with Parker.
I ❤️ Ohio
Alejandro moves up one spot after his trade with Jeremias, acquiring some much needed depth at WR and a top TE when healthy in Brock Bowers. He's a riser candidate in future weeks.
Papa’s Picks:
WFL Weekly Game of the Week: Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah) vs. Worse than WHL (Jeremias)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the US Maritime Bowl. Both Wake and Baker Co. & Worse than WHL have been among the best teams in the WFL this year and sport two of the most complete rosters around. Both are coming off of close victories that saw them escape during Sunday & Monday Night Football, and would certainly like to keep their momentum going in what could be a huge victory for both at this point in the season. We spoke with both GMs this week about their respective thoughts on the matchup and their opponent whom they know very well. Sitting down with Jeremias of Worse than WHL, he told us "Yeah you know, when you spend 40+ hours a week with someone and buy them CcL every morning, you get a good grasp of the kind of person they are. Jonah has been arguably the most trade-savvy manager this year and I expect a close game that will go down to the wire right up to the last whistle on Monday night. I caught him on a good week for me with his injuries and byes, but Jonah's team is a force to be reckoned with regardless. I will also challenge Jonah to wager a CcL for this matchup". His team has been heating up week in and week out, and is no doubt one of the odds on favorites if the season were to end today. Jonah shared similar thoughts but cautious optimism when we talked with him, telling us "Definitely an important matchup this week and unfortunately we're going into it shorthanded, thanks to the Bills week 8 bye and Justin Fields' inability to throw a 5-yard out to a wide-open Garrett Wilson. I feel like I know this week's opponent all too well. I talk football with him more than anyone in the WFL, so I really understand his thoughts on both his players and my players. I know he's taking this week very seriously because he sees Wake and Baker Co. as a threat, but I have a feeling the injuries and bye weeks are going to really hurt our organization this week. Hopefully I'm wrong." Both Jere & Jonah are battling for more than just a win this week. This has bigger implications than that. The winner will take home the prized CcL Trophy and claim bragging rights until next year's US Maritime Bowl. Who will inject the CcL into their veins and come out firing on all cylinders? Who will be Juan-maxxing? How will the Greg and underwriters halftime show be? We can't wait to find out.
Upset Watch of the Week: KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew) vs. The Bang Bros (Andres)
It's even funnier a third time! We picked KRAFT YAC & CHEESE to be on upset alert last week for the second straight time, and this time we got him, as Wake and Baker Co. toppled the previously league leaders. We're pushing all our chips to the middle of the table this week and betting that we can break the 1-1 deadlock on Drew upsets. The Bang Bros massively underperformed last week, but expect positive regression this week as they aim to get back on track. Look for Bill Croskey-Merrit & JK Dobbins to bounce back and lead this team to a higher point total as they challenge one of the league leaders. Drew's squad has a lot of new faces this week that could take some time to gel together. Whether or not his team got better is a question every other GM might have a different answer for. Can The Bang Bots send KRAFT YAC & CHEESE to the dumps? Let's find out!
Predictions: (Last Week's results: 4-2 😌
24-12 overall)
#11 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian) vs. #12 Cumming… (Daniel) ✅
#3 KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew) vs. #9 The Bang Bros (Andres) ✅
#4 Build The Waller (Eric) vs. #5 andy (Andy) ✅
#1 I ❤️ Ohio (Alejandro) ✅ vs. #7 Rico Suave (Johnny)
#10 Marvin's Room (Jack) ✅* vs. #8 Rome wasn't built in a day (Parker)
#6 Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah) vs. #2 Worse than WHL (Jeremias) ✅
*Contingent on Deebo and Marvin Harrison playing
Divisional Standings
(Divisional Record in parentheses)
Cummish Division
#3 KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew): 4-2 (1-1)
#5 fent folding (Andy): 4-2 (2-0)
#12 Cumming… (Daniel): 1-5 (0-2)
33176+ Division
#6 Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah): 3-3 (1-1)
#9 The Bang Bros (Andres): 2-4 (1-1)
#10 Marvin's Room (Jack): 2-4 (1-1)
sybau Division
#1 I ❤️ Ohio (Alejandro): 5-1 (2-0)
#4 Build The Waller (Eric): 4-2 (1-1)
#11 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian): 2-4 (0-2)
Trade2Trade Division
#2 Worse than WHL (Jeremias): 4-2 (1-1)
#7 Rico Suave (Johnny): 3-3 (0-2)
#8 Rome wasn't built in a day (Parker): 2-4 (2-0)
A big shoutout to our sponsors Tough Cookie Inc. and WussiesGPT for helping the Donut section & Trade to Trade be what they are today, and to Drew for his power rankings!
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The only good luck that we here at WFL Weekly wish you, is good luck with injuries. Everything else is up to the higher powers.
*Note from the Editor*: Big thank you to Andy & Drew on the WFL Weekly Website team, you guys rock.