WFL WEEKLY 5 - Week 15: Sudden Changes
A soft rain falls upon the windows of the WFL HQ. It’s a gloomy day for a building that has held much mystique throughout the years. Long gone are the days where WFL staffers ran around in panic trying to put out fires and remedy scandals from the Daniel administration. The days of a Drew-led regime that saw draft picks fly around like fruit flies in a farmer’s market, a thing of the past. As Andy stared out the window of the Commissioner’s office, he felt a twinge of sadness. Ultimately, like those who came before him, the pressures that were heaped upon his shoulders became too much for a man to bear. His reign as Commissioner, one that started with such hope and enthusiasm, now coming to an abrupt end. In the distance he could see the moving van with the last of his things being packed in, an appropriately as he turned to leave, the WFL HQ music system began to softly play a tune befitting the long walk one final time.
https://youtu.be/k4M53xndqiU?si=TTO3GcYtLsmJXZHI
How will Andy’s time as the Commissioner of the WFL be remembered? While he certainly had his work cut out for him in cleaning up the mess that draft-pick trades had left, it’s the other promises and ideas that had wildly varying levels of success. The lows were low: A division system imported that seemed to be cared about very little by its founder, and a league schedule that reflected that notion. But the highs were high: WFL Weekly’s website up and running, dragging the Chief Editor out of contemplating retirement, only for WFL Weekly to be enjoying a career renaissance. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we think that’s the only way to view Andy’s body of work as the Commissioner of the WFL. While it may have been short-lived, the way we here at WFL Weekly see it, is through a classic saying: "The brightest stars burn the fastest"
Thank you Commish for your hard work, it’s up to your vice-Commissioner to carry the flame now.
Without further ado, let’s rock n roll
Biggest Winner:
I ❤️ Ohio (Ale) - It’s hard to understate just how impactful I ❤️ Ohio’s win was this past week. Not only did he knock out a division-rival. Not only did he secure a Top 3 finish this season. Not only did he beat a team that he will likely forever be tied to. He crushed the dreams of Hall of Fame Youtuber and Fabian in one of the most dramatic conclusions to a regular season the WFL has ever seen. After Mahomes completely sold in a prime spot for Ale to remain in striking distance, it seemed all was lost. But then Dicker the kicker went to work. And with every field goal things began to get closer. The score got tighter. And other GMs started to believe. 20 points from Cameron Dicker sent Ale to the post-season on a positive note, and Fabian to a heart-breaking season-ending defeat.
Other Winners:
Wabi Sabi (Andy) - All seemed lost when Wabi Sabi simply was blown out of the water by division rival Cumming… and Daniel. Jalen Hurts produced perhaps the worst stat-line in WFL history to the tune of -7 points, and we were just minutes away from without question the biggest failure of a season in WFL history. But just as you give some things away, fate has a funny way of doing what you’d least expect. Fabian’s loss is Andy’s gain, as a Monday Night Miracle provides Wabi Sabi with something six other teams can’t say they have: a chance to play for a championship. Andy’s squad has truly stumbled into this position, but we’ve seen times before that even the tiniest of underdogs can bark the loudest. Is Wabi Sabi next on that list.
On the Cock (Parker) - Not only is Parker the new commissioner of the WFL, but he also just happened to take down the #1 team in the WFL. A victory in a competitive matchup against KRAFT YAC & CHEESE was not only solidified the position of On the Cock, but served as a statement win for the rest of the WFL. Give this team an opening and they might just run away with the whole thing. Let’s see long this fire can burn.
Biggest Loser:
Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fab) - There was truly only one team that could occupy this spot. And for a while it looked like it would Andy’s Wabi Sabi team. But oh how fate has a cruel way of playing tricks on those they’ve helped in the past. Despite a less than stellar performance, all seemed to right going into Monday Night Football. Donuts from former team hero Patrick Mahomes, and Dontayvion Wicks stuck Fabian in a truly ideal spot. And then 5 words were typed. Those damn 5 words. "See yall in the playoffs". It was almost the cruel opposite of a tactic known very well by Fabian’s opponent. Essentially what was an early gg, turned the tables on what we already knew. Fabian tried to cite the ancient texts of the art of 'early gg' to Ale. What he didn’t foresee was that the GM of I ❤️ Ohio was there when it was written.
Other Losers:
Worse than WBA (Jeremias) - Despite all the misfortune, complaining, negativity, and more or less giving up 3-4 weeks ago, Worse than WBA had a chance to make the playoffs going into the final regular season week. And then Daniel Jones died, his players did nothing, and he started a TE on bye. Given you didn’t try, we won’t either anymore. Fix up man, giving up isn’t a good look on you.
Donuts! (Sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.):
Well I’ll be damned. In celebration for the WFL Playoffs beginning, and perhaps the commissioner stepping down, GMs and their teams were absolutely famished for donuts this week. Do not worry friends, there are plenty to go around.
🍩 Jayden Daniels (Marvin’s Room) - The return to play for Jayden Daniels was meant to be a celebration for Jack and Marvin’s Room, coming back with the season on the line and ready for one last hero moment. That didn’t happen, 0.72 points and got hurt again.
🍩 Patrick Mahomes (I ❤️ Ohio) - Yes you are reading that correctly. Patrick Mahomes, THE Patrick Mahomes, is on the donut list. Did Ale… lose the trade? Say it ain’t so…
🍩 Jalen Hurts (Wabi Sabi) - Huh. There’s not many ways you sugarcoat this (and believe us, the WFL Bakery excels at that), Jalen Hurts had one of the worst performances in WBWA-WFL combined history this past week. To put things in persepective, Andy’s own girlfriend Lisandra could have scored more points, and she likely could have done it with her eyes closed. We actually reached out to her to get her thoughts on Andy’s monumentally bad start, and her thoughts on his actions recently. She told us "All I have to say is that this past week was traumatic, to say the least. I have no idea how he managed to win (make the playoffs) last week, and naturally I’m thrilled, ecstatic even. That being said, for the sake of my sanity and his own, someone please ban him from next year’s fantasy football."
🍩 DJ Moore (Shitter Inc.) - Once more for good old time’s sake, let’s all say it together: DJ Less
🍩 Daniel Jones (Worse than WBA) - This one’s gotta hurt. Danny Dimes put everything on the line to play for the Colts this year, and was the glue guy for Jere’s team early this season. His torn Achilles is the brutal final stamp on Worse than WBA’s collapse this year.
🍩 Bhayshul Tuten (Worse than WBA) - Andddd it got worse, because Jere could have started himself at Running Back last week and scored more points than Bhayshul Tuten did. This is normally the part of the show where we get an interview from the person who would have done better. However we have a feeling the response would be short and likely nothing we haven’t already heard, so we’ll save you the time.
🍩 Dontayvion Wicks (I ❤️ Ohio) - Just when you thought I ❤️ Ohio was done, they got back in line! If you really think about, donuts are like voting; You can just get back in line and do it again.
🍩 Romeo Doubs (The Bang Bros) - Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?… Not on the stat sheet, that’s for sure. Maybe the better question is where is Andres? Has anyone heard from this man? He certainly won’t answer my texts.
Ale’s Trade to Trade Analysis:
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*Closed for Winter*
The WFL Hierarchy - Playoff Edition:
*Proudly sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc. & written by Drew*
The WFL Hierarchy is proud to be sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.’s NEW Crack, Don’t Crumble Series! As this is our final WFL Hierarchy of the season, we have a very special featured cookie of the week: Playoff Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk!
The Finalists
1. Parker
2. Jonah
3. Drew
4. Jack
5. Andy
6. Alejandro
The Toilet Bowl
1. Fabian
2. Jeremias
3. Eric
4. Andrews
5. Daniel
6. Johnny
We’ll be going team-by-team to talk about strengths and weaknesses of each Finalist heading into the fantasy playoffs. And we’ll be diving into how each Toilet Bowl contender might avoid the Hot Ones challenge.
The Finalists
Parker (On The Cock)
Strengths: Firepower.
Puka. Bijan. Achane. Maye. Parker has all the pieces to drop 180 on your dome any given week, and as long as he gets top notch performances out of those guys during the playoffs, the WFL Championship is his to lose. It would be quite the exclamation point to start off the newly minted commissioner’s career.
Weaknesses: Depth and TE.
If Parker falters in the playoffs, it’s not for lack of good players, it’s for a struggle to put together a complete lineup. We would’ve expected a better replacement than Colby Parkinson once Sam LaPorta went down with injury, and although he’s played well, Kenneth Gainwell isn’t stroking fear into the hearts of any opponents.
Jonah (Wake and Baker Co.)
Strengths: Onesie Position Supremacy.
Kyle Pitts’ 45.6 fantasy points on Thursday night vaulted him to TE2 on the season… still 58 behind Jonah’s pride and joy Trey McBride. Pair that massive TE advantage with the top QB in fantasy, sprinkle in some Jahmyr Gibbs, and you have the recipe for a WFL Championship.
Weaknesses: Too Many Mouths.
While we applaud depth in the regular season, in the playoffs there is a change of perspective. The ability to hold steadfast through injuries is extremely important and it’s the reason Jonah claimed the number 1 seed. But in the playoffs, that depth turns into a managerial nightmare. Deciding whether or not to start Keenan Allen, Luther Burden, Zach Charbonnet, or Kyle Monongai any given week could very well make the difference between Jonah claiming the title or getting sent packing.
Drew (KRAFT YAC & CHEESE)
Strengths: WR Bonanza.
Lamb, Rice, Brown, and Higgins headline what is probably the scariest group of WRs in the playoffs right now. As we saw on Thanksgiving, these players alone can score 100+ points, making Drew a force to be reckoned with on any given week. Pair that with some high end performances from Lamar and this team has the upside to make a WFL Championship run.
Weaknesses: Stability.
While Drew has the upside to win it all, investing so heavily in WRs leaves him open to more tail-end outcomes than any other team in the playoffs. The lack of RB upside is concerning at best, and the TE position has not been the same since namesake Tucker Kraft went down in Week 9. If those top WRs can’t string together consistent performances, Drew might not make it out of the semifinals… again.
Jack (Marvin’s Room)
Strengths: Teamwork.
If Jack is going to capture his third WFL Championship, it isn’t going to be on the back of one player. Where Jack is strongest is in the collective “Team”. We can’t point to a specific player that is going to win Jack his matchups (as much as JSN tries), but he has enough juice down the roster to support a healthy baseline of points and take advantage of any missteps from his opponents. Sprinkle in a big game here or there and he’ll be competing in basically any game this postseason.
Weaknesses: Lost Players.
Jayden Daniels, Marvin Harrison, and Trey Benson. Just a few of the names that visited the Papa Jack Hospital this year, but these are the most meaningful since it comes at a time when their services are most needed. That leaves Jack starting players like Tyler Allgeier that I’m sure he would rather have sitting on his bench, which is usually not the recipe for a championship run.
Andy (Wabi Sabi)
Strengths: Old Dogs Same Tricks.
Ja’Marr Chase and Saquon Barkley were WR1 and RB1 in 2024. If Andy is going to find playoff success, it’s going to be on the back of massive performances from these players that have underperformed thus far. And we expect those to come, with key players in Joe Burrow and Lane Johnson returning to boost these two. Add in some excellent play from Etienne as of late, some booms from Nico or DK, and it wouldn’t be the first time the six seed makes a championship run.
Weaknesses: Inconsistency.
We think Andy’s team deserves to be in the playoffs, but the road to get here was maddening. And the same reason he may struggle in the playoffs is the same reason it was hard to get here in the first place - the erratic nature of some of these players. Jalen Hurts, Nico Collins, DK, Saquon. All these guys are either all gas or all brakes. They all have big play upside, but when those don’t come, that’s where Andy may find himself out of the playoffs.
Alejandro (I ❤️ Ohio)
Strengths: That Looked a Little Mahomie.
Weaknesses:
The Toilet Bowl
Fabian (Hall of Fame Youtuber)
Hot Ones Avoidance Strategy: The Stack.
Fabian suffered a brutal loss in Week 14 to find himself in an all-too-familiar place. The Toilet Bowl. Where those painful memories of hot wings from years past continue to haunt him. But, this year is different. Fabian should be able to avoid the punishment with the WFL’s Stack of the Year: Matt Stafford and Davante Adams. No QB-WR combo has combined for more TDs this year (14!) and Fabian should be able to ride that into an early Toilet Bowl exit.
Jeremias (Worse than WBA)
Hot Ones Avoidance Strategy: RBs Galore.
This year hasn’t gone the way Jeremias wanted. Whether it be the result of injuries, underperforming stars, or just plain bad luck, he’s in the toilet bowl. He still had a fighting chance to make the playoffs late in the season, so an early Toilet Bowl exit feels like a forgone conclusion. It’ll have to come from good play by JT, CMC, and Judkins, whom have been the engine behind this team all season, since poor play from BTJ and JJetas have left him down in the dumps.
Eric (Shitter Inc.)
Hot Ones Avoidance Strategy: Shiesty.
Shitter Inc. was once again the victim of early season injuries derailing what looked like an otherwise promising start. It seems everyone has forgotten that Eric started out 4-2 before unfortunately finishing 1-8 over his last 10 games. Joe Burrow, Jayden Reed, and Tyreek Hill were all gone by week 5 and returned too late for a playoff push. Although Eric couldn’t turn things around late season, we expect those guys, along with TMac and Jeanty, to act as his escape hatch for an early Toilet Bowl exit.
Andres (The Bang Bros)
Hot Ones Avoidance Strategy: Sticking to Your Guns.
The Bang Bros’ 2025 season should serve as a cautionary tale to everyone about the dangers of trading and drafting rookies. The Bang Bros were right in the thick of it at 2-2 after 4 weeks, but lack of early season production from those rookies over the next two weeks led Andres to a full roster overhaul in Week 6, and he has gone 2-6 since then. That leads us to today, where despite early season woes, Andres still has a chance to avoid doing yet another punishment by sticking to his guns. Specifically Bang Bros legend ARSB and Miami Dolphins WR1 of the future Jaylen Waddle. Toss in the Lions stack with Jared Goff and a little bit of luck, and Andres should be able to avoid doing the punishment for the third time in five years.
Daniel (Cumming…)
Hot Ones Avoidance Strategy: Big Booms.
This season hasn’t been kind to Daniel, as he’s been in the twelve spot all season. NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND. We applaud Daniel for his resilience in the face of (most self-inflicted) adversity that he even managed to climb up one spot. Big performances from Devonta Smith and Jamo have been regular occurrences of late, and he’s built himself a nice roster around Swift, Warren, and Herbert to round out the season. We wouldn’t be surprised to see Daniel eating Hot Ones, but the upside is certainly there for a one-week explosion to avoid them altogether.
Johnny (Rico Suave)
Hot Ones Avoidance Strategy: One Man’s Trash.
How Johnny managed to rattle off 6 wins this year is entirely beyond our understanding of fantasy football. Equipped with nothing but mid-round picks, he managed to take at least a glance at a playoff berth while scoring only 29 more points than Daniel. He’s scraped by all season, curating a roster that functions almost as an island of misfit toys, where one man’s waiver wire cut candidate is Johnny’s RB2. But we in no way think that his win total is reflective of the strength of his team at the current moment. He’ll have to ride late-season surges from his diamonds in the rough - Jakobi Meyers, Devaughn Vele, and Tyrone Tracy to avoid the same fate as his brother, but downturns in production from Emeka “Keeper Value” Egbuka and Quentin “Can Catch?” Johnston doesn’t help his chances. We won’t be surprised to see Johnny eating Hot Ones, but weirder things have happened with Rico Suave this season.
Papa’s Picks:
WFL Weekly Game of the Week: Wabi Sabi (Andy) vs. I ❤️ Ohio (Ale)
And just as I ❤️ Ohio did the unthinkable to vanquish Fab and put Wabi Sabi in the playoffs, the two teams will face off with no time for Andy to even say thank you. Two GMs always discussing god knows what in the leagues inner circles, Andy and Alejandro have a history. With commissioner and intern reigns under their belts, they know the inner workings of the league like the back of their hands. The big story of Andy stepping down as Commissioner has cooled off, and what we’re left with is this: Ale and I ❤️ Ohio are the sole reason Wabi Sabi are playing playoff football this week. He let him in, and now he’s trying to take him out. Will Ale stamp on the Cinderella dreams of the former commissioner before they have a chance to materialize? With his self-imposed shackles off, Wabi Sabi can now solely focus on the playoffs. This renewed focus could unlock a potential we’ve seen throughout the season, but one that’s never been fully realized. Is this week the start of one more run to the championship for Andy? Let’s find out.
Upset Watch of the Week:
*Every team is more or less where they belong at this point, so the Upset Watch of the Week will be retired until next season. Thanks for reading!*
Predictions: (Last Week’s results: 4-2 🙂
52-32 overall)
Toilet Bowl:
#7 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fab) ✅ vs. #10 Shitter Inc. (Eric)
#8 Rico Suave (Johnny) vs. #9 Worse than WBA (Jere) ✅
WFL Playoffs:
#4 On the Cock (Parker) ✅ vs. #5 Marvin’s Room (Jack)
#3 I ❤️ Ohio (Ale) vs. #6 Wabi Sabi (Andy) ✅
Divisional Standings
(Divisional Record in parentheses)
Cummish Division
#2 KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew): 11-3 (3-1)
#6 Wabi Sabi (Andy): 6-8 (2-2)
#12 Cumming… (Daniel): 4-10 (1-3)
33176+ Division
#1 Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah): 11-3 (2-1)
#5 Marvin's Room (Jack): 8-6 (2-1)
#11 The Bang Bros (Andres): 4-9 (1-3)
sybau Division
#3 I ❤️ Ohio (Alejandro): 10-4 (4-0)
#7 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian): 6-8 (0-3)
#10 Shitter Inc. (Eric): 5-9 (1-2)
Trade2Trade Division
#4 On the Cock (Parker): 8-6 (4-0)
#8 Forever Worse than WHL (Jeremias): 5-9 (1-3)
#9 Rico Suave (Johnny): 6-8 (1-3)
A big shoutout to our sponsors Tough Cookie Inc. and WussiesGPT for helping the Donut section & Trade to Trade be what they are today, and to Drew for his power rankings!
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The only good luck that we here at WFL Weekly wish you, is good luck with injuries. Everything else is up to the higher powers.
*Note from the Editor*: Big thank you to Andy & Drew on the WFL Weekly Website team, you guys rock.