WFL WEEKLY 5 - Week 12: The Deadline

Just want to you to put the word out there that we're back up.

After a lethargic couple of weeks from the WFL Weekly team, we were determined to give the people an absolute classic edition this week, and we'd like to think we delivered. Full of high quality analysis, classic memes, and the same eloquence (or lack thereof, depends how you look at it) that you know and love. We've now reached the beginning of the end. The final stretch of three regular season games that will determine who makes the playoffs and fights for glory, and who circles the Toilet Bowl with a chance to be flushed away. Who will rise to occasion and firmly grasp the reigns of momentum, making the push towards the promised land? And who will falter when the lights are the brightest? One thing is for sure, the hot wings will be hot, and the winnings will not be received.

Without further ado, let's rock and roll.

Biggest Winner:

I ❤️ Ohio (Ale) - Going into last week, Ale's back was against the wall. A torrid start to the season washed away by injury, I ❤️ Ohio was in danger of falling out of the playoff picture altogether if they suffered yet another loss to The Bang Bros. And with lights shining brighter than ever, the team stepped up to the plate, and didn't miss. 161 points and masterful performances from George Pickens, Michael Wilson, and newcomer James Cook fueled Ale's squad to a massive victory. Is this the beginning of a new era? Turning a new leaf perhaps? We asked Ale about the tumultuous last couple of weeks his team has had, what the win meant to his team, and what expectations he had going forward. He told us "You can say tumultuous again. At I ❤️ Ohio, we really felt wheels fall off the train with no end in sight, Skattebo with an awful injury, and a HUGE desire to delete the app. Beating The Bang Bros was huge to get back into the win column after Henderson dropped an insane TNF game on my head (shoutout PapaJack305 stream). I'd have to say my expectations are high coming off a trade that I feel that benefits us greatly, and the rise of Michael Wilson. Keep our heads up." A big matchup against division rival Eric will tell a lot about the potential this team has going forward.

Other Winners:

KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew) - It wasn't easy by any means, but KRAFT YAC & CHEESE escaped with a victory last week over Forever Worse than WHL. Winning a week scoring 101 points is not common, so Drew should certainly be thanking his lucky stars that Jere's team collectively shit the bed. That being said, the reason Drew's squad finds its place on this list is them being the first team to clinch a playoff berth this year. Winning out would also clinch a record-setting campaign in terms of record. It's been a great year for the former Commissioner, and time will tell if this is truly his year. Up next is a potential tune up game against division rival Daniel.

Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian) - Perhaps no victory was bigger this past weekend than Fabian's, as his squad grounded the high-scoring team of Parker's and moved all the way up to 4th in the WFL standings. At 6-5 Fabian once again looks dangerous going into playoff time, as WFL managers everywhere go into PTSD fueled anxiety attacks. Does his team have the juice to truly threaten the big dawgs on top of the standings? We'll have to wait and see if he can get past the upset-minded Rico Suave first.

Biggest Loser:

The Bang Bros (Andres) - Well the dream was fun while it lasted. Two wins in a row presented a glimmer of hope for The Original Bang Bro, but they hype train came crashing back down to earth with a blowout loss to I ❤️ Ohio. Rather than provide our own analysis, we think it's better if you hear straight from Andres how he felt about the loss and his expectations for his team going forward. He told us:

"I feel nothing but pain and suffering since trading within this capitalistic society. The bubble of greed and swapping of human beings hardens me. Swapping them like these people don't have families.

As a man recently said to Jimmy Butler, “You work for Vegas!”

I disagree. They play for the love of the game and if there's mistrust and i can't instill faith within my team. Chemistry goes down. It's like missing a bang bro. It's lonely, alone, with nothing but your hand and the fantasy screen instead of your bro to help you get through these tough bangless moments. As the season continues, stability, resistance, and restraint will allow me to see the light, have faith, and increase on this agenda for next year."

A true poet at work.

Other Losers:

Rico Suave (Johnny) - Is the Cinderella story over? Johnny has certainly worked wonders to turn what was a roster completely devoid of talent into one that can hang with just about any team. Unfortunately for him and his squad, the magic might have run out. Short of winning out and getting some help, last week's loss to Shitter Inc. might've just put the nail in the coffin on Johnny's playoff dreams. He followed up the disappointing result by trading away maybe his MVP this year in Rico Dowdle and DK Metcalf, for Javonte Williams and his "keeper value". An interesting move that signifies bowing out of playoff contention more than anything else. What kind of Johnny and Rico Suave can we expect this weekend? It's anyone's guess.

FmFfms (Parker) - Perhaps if he changed his name his team would have better fortunes.

Donuts! (Sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.):

We're back with yet another three donuts this week, as the total this season continues to grow. We've got a mix of surprising & unsurprising customers this week, so let's take a look.

• 🍩 Quentin Johnston (Rico Suave) - I fear this was the least surprising of all the donuts this week. Johnston may have returned from his injury, but he might as well have just sat out again and we wouldn't know the difference! Have you heard the Tragedy of Darth QJ the Wise?
• 🍩 Khalil Shakir (Shitter Inc.) - Slightly more surprising is that Mr. Shakir could not even reach positive yardage. We suspect the infamous Bosh Allen is behind the sudden disappearance of Khalil Shakir points.
• 🍩 Lamar Jackson (KRAFT YAC & CHEESE) - LAMAR LAMAR LAMAR. The only explanation for a game like this against the Cleveland Browns is that Drew must not have hurdled the tub. Rookie mistake.

Ale's Trade to Trade Analysis:

*Powered by WussiesGPT*

We have arrived, as Scott Hanson says, in the Witching Hour. Where shitters become shitters, and Jere tells you how little your PA is. As much as we want to stress about our stats, complain about injuries, or claim how much better the WHL is, we have a trade to look into.

Andy Receives: Rico Dowdle & DK Metcalf
Johnny Gets: Javonte Williams

I have written several of these and the more I do, I don't get Johnny's trade framework. It really doesn't add up in my head, and our Chief Editor seems to not get it either. I think what makes me shake my head is the swap of the RBs. Is this really a swap that warrants an extra WR3-4 tossed onto this trade? Metcalf isn't droppable, but he isn't great, but what makes this trade something that Johnny would want to do? Are you curbing the Chubba dilemma or Strength of Schedule?

No idea. Andy wins. 6/10 Trade to Trade.

Johnny stop trading, YOU HAD. A great roster.

THE WFL HIERARCHY

*Proudly sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc. & written by Drew*

The WFL Hierarchy is proud to be sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.'s NEW Crack, Don't Crumble Series! Don't forget to check-in every week, we'll be rolling out new items throughout the season.
Featured Item of the Week: Hall of Fame You-gurt Pretzels

Rankings:

• 1. Wake and Baker Co.
• 2. Forever Worse than WHL
• 3. KRAFT YAC & Cheese
• 4. Qui Gyatt Jit
• 5. Forgive me Father for my sins
• 6. Hall of Fame Youtuber
• 7. Marvin's Room
• 8. I ❤️ Ohio
• 9. Rico Suave
• 10. The Bang Bros
• 11. Shitter Inc.
• 12. Cumming…

Risers

Nobody
In what can only be called a microcosm of the WFL this season, we have no risers this week. Perhaps a metaphor for the attrition we face this deep in the season, where the only thing teams can do is hold on for dear life and pray they don't fall apart. We do have a few candidates for the Risers list, but that will have to wait until next week.

Fallers

Rico Suave & Qui Gyatt Jit
I'm not sure how this is possible, but we think both teams somehow got worse week-over-week after their trade. Andy's fall is due also in part of the unfortunate Chase spitting incident, but acquiring a middling WR3 at best in DK is not going to solve the problems in his lineup that have been forming over the last few weeks from Courtland Sutton's decline. We think Javonte was the better asset for Andy's team compared to Dowdle. As for Johnny, he lost some valuable depth pieces in search of that ever-elusive keeper value. We think he'll still have a shot at sneaking into the playoffs, but getting rid of DK wasn't a smart move for Johnny's already thin WR core. Qui Gyatt Jit moves down 2 spots to number 4 and Rico Suave drops 1 spot to number 9.

Forgive me Father for my sins
I'm moving Parker down in part for his refusal to come up with an actually good fantasy team name, but also in part for losing Sam LaPorta for the year. Elite TEs seem to have been the group missing the largest portion of games this year - Bowers, Waller, Kraft — and now LaPorta. Just when he seemed to be catching his stride, the injury gods strike again. We also can't ignore Rome Odunze's regression in the second half of the season, falling far from the WR1 heights we saw early in the season. Parker moves down 2 spots to number 5.

The Hot Seat

As the regular season begins to enter the final stretch, our journalists were active this week around the league. And with the standings starting to take shape, it's important that we start asking the real questions. Questions like: "Who would you like to see receive the Hot Ones punishment?" Here's what our team found out…

• Parker - "Out of everybody that I'd like to see do the Hot Ones Punishment, I'd like to say my division mates. Love them to death but gotta keep up with it."
• Jere - "Daniel made his bed and now he'll have to lie in it."
• Eric - "I gotta see andres eat those wings for what he did to his team"
• Jonah - "This season, there is probably only one person deserving of the Hot Ones 'punishment' when it's all said and done. And his name is… Jeremias"
• Andy - "I would like to see someone other than Daniel or Johnny just because it would be funny that the people missing draft picks would not be the worst team"
• Johnny - "I think i would enjoy seeing daniel on the hot seat doing the hot ones punishment, not because i want him to ve punished i just think hed have the most interesting and entertaining interview and answers"
• Ale - "I have 2 answers to this question, the real one and my wishful thinking one. Realistically; Peach. Peach not actively caring about this league to being a former commissioner, I'd be lying if I said I DIDNT WANT TO SEE him on the stand. The wishful answer is Jeremias. Between keeping Blake Corum and being the designer and hoax creator of the PA Files, it'd be so good to see the man eating some wings. I won the trade".
• Jack - "Personally I'd like to see Johnny do the Hot Ones challenge. I think he'd provide an entertaining performance if nothing else, and it would be funny given all the effort he's put into digging his team out of the hole this season."
• Andres - new daniel memes? Sign me up🔥😭
• Fabian - "Those wings have Daniel's name written all over them".
• Drew - "I think it will inevitably be Daniel doing the Hot Ones punishment, but I would like to see WFL Weekly's own Jack Reid doing the punishment this year (even if it probably won't happen). It would be a true fall from grace as he goes first-to-worst in the span of 1 year. Truly historic."
• Daniel -
• Mesa - "i would like to see daniel. bro must pay for his actions in this league"

Papa's Picks:

WFL Weekly Game of the Week: Forever Worse than WHL (Jeremias) vs. FmFfms (Parker)

This week's WFL Weekly Game of the Week features two teams that are absolutely desperate to see a win. Two teams that have truly had some misfortune this season. And two teams that know each other very well. Wayyy back in Week One, it was Parker who came out on top in a convincing 41 point victory to give him a 1-0 record in divisional play. Both teams are VERY different now, with Jere's squad completely unrecognizable to this current iteration. And yet, both teams sit in exactly the same position. Both 5-6 and battling over that 6th playoff spot. In order for Forever Worse than WHL to have a chance this week, they'll need Justin Jefferson to start putting up some points as he's been pedestrian since JJ McCarthy came back from injury. Jere's team is of course powered by the two motor engine that is Jonathan Taylor & Christian McCaffrey, and they'll need all the points they can get to matchup against Parker's high scoring squad. Speaking to Jere this week, we asked him about his team's performance as of late, and what he expects going into this matchup with his division rival. On the topic of his team's performance, he summed it up in one word: "Ass". Talking about his matchup with Parker he said "Matchup prolly cooked but parker pretty unlucky so it's a toss up".
Speaking of Parker's squad, what Parker's team lacks in a credible team name, they make up for with their Top 2 Points For. Drake MayeBeGood, Puka Nacua, Bijan Robinson, and more have powered this team to some of the loftiest point totals of the season while at their peak, and could very well take over the matchup this weekend. Where Parker's team could find trouble this week is in the RB department, as De'Von Achane's bye and Jaylen Warren's injury have put a strain on what is usually a top tier unit. If Warren can't suit up this week Parker may have to drop someone to keep pace. We also spoke to Parker about his confidence in his team this week, and his thoughts on this bout as a whole. He told us "I expect for my team to go out there and compete as they know how important it is to me. This matchup is incredibly (important) considering who I'm facing against. I obviously love Jeremias a lot as I consider him to be my best friend and wish the best for him for about 350 days a year give or take. Having said that, I wanted to beat him. Bragging rights at the end are important to me and I hope for a fair fight but I want to beat him." Parker & Jeremias have the chance to deal what could possibly be a lethal blow to each other's playoff hopes this week in what should be a truly dramatic finish. Does Jere's team have enough in the tank to topple Parker and even up their season series? Or will Parker potentially bury Jere in a pile of points he just can't get out of?

Upset Watch of the Week: Rico Suave (Johnny) vs. Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian)

Our upset of the week features two teams that have had truly up and down seasons. Johnny & Fabian had opposite starts to this year, with Hall of Fame Youtuber getting off to a hot start before a rocky midseason stretch. Rico Suave on the other hand completely remodeled their roster after a horrible early season start and turned into a team no one wanted to see. As it stands right now, Fabian had his team in playoff position and looking strong as he heads into the regular season's last three games. And while Rico Suave may have seen their momentum halted as of late, they still have dreams of being the great disruptor that creates chaos in the playoff race. We asked Johnny about his team's performance as of late, and about the message he's sending to his team despite no margin for error. Johnny told us "Last week was a demoralizing loss snd one we shouldn't take likely, but with every loss you learn a lesson and the lesson we learned is that its a privilege to face adversity. we didn't attain the outcome we wanted but to be able to even consider ourselves a worthy opponent puts us in a position for a brighter future.

We hired an analyst to breakdown the numbers and as long as we can manage to make it to 7-7 we actually have a solid chance of making the playoffs given the remaining matchups.

My message to the team is don't give up and fight for every win, because the only loss is when we have given up and decided not to try anymore."

On the other side of things, we also spoke to Fabian on what he feels his key factor to victory will be this week, along with his thoughts on his matchup this week. He told us "I think the Jacobs injury leaves me in a precarious situation. To win, I will need at least one of my many wr3s to have a good performance while assuming the rest of my squad can keep cooking. I expect a good matchup with Johnny. I'm sure he would love to help knock me out of playoff contention like everyone else. Let's see if my team has the fight in it to not let him".

Predictions: (Last Week's results: 4-2 🙂
42-24 overall)

• #12 Cumming… (Daniel) ✅ vs. #1 KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew)
• #8 Marvin's Room (Jack) ✅ vs. #10 The Bang Bros (Andres)
• #5 Qui Gyatt Jit (Andy) vs. #2 Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah) ✅
• #11 Rico Suave (Johnny) ✅ vs. #4 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian)
• #3 I ❤️ Ohio (Ale) ✅ vs. #9 Shitter Inc. (Eric)
• #7 Forever Worse than WHL (Jere) vs. #6 FmFfms (Parker) ✅

Divisional Standings
(Divisional Record in parentheses)

Cummish Division

• #1 KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew): 9-2 (1-1)
• #5 Qui Gyatt Jit (Andy): 6-5 (2-0)
• #12 Cumming… (Daniel): 2-9 (0-2)

33176+ Division

• #2 Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah): 8-3 (1-1)
• #8 Marvin's Room (Jack): 5-6 (1-1)
• #10 The Bang Bros (Andres): 4-7 (1-1)

sybau Division

• #3 I ❤️ Ohio (Alejandro): 7-4 (2-0)
• #4 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian): 6-5 (0-2)
• #9 Shitter Inc. (Eric): 5-6 (1-1)

Trade2Trade Division

• #6 FmFfms (Parker): 5-6 (2-0)
• #7 Forever Worse than WHL (Jeremias): 5-5 (1-1)
• #11 Rico Suave (Johnny): 4-6 (0-2)

A big shoutout to our sponsors Tough Cookie Inc. and WussiesGPT for helping the Donut section & Trade to Trade be what they are today, and to Drew for his power rankings!

If you or someone you know would like to be a sponsor for WFL Weekly, let us know and we'll give you some options on where you can showcase your brand, company, or organization!

Additionally, if you have your own ideas for columns, one offs, or weekly installments, speak to Chief Editor Jack Reid for more information!

The only good luck that we here at WFL Weekly wish you, is good luck with injuries. Everything else is up to the higher powers.

*Note from the Editor*: Big thank you to Andy & Drew on the WFL Weekly Website team, you guys rock.