WFL Weekly 5 - Week 10: Bye Week
Football make you feel not good most times. Life more fun when play games with friends. Few words sometimes better than many words.
Time for rock to roll!
Biggest Winner:
Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian) - Fabian winning games in a non-Luckian way? What is this sorcery. His team look good. This looks bad for everyone else. It may be time to panic.
Other Winners:
The Bang Bros (Andres) - Andres wins a game :D Good for him. Go Andres go!
Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah) - Jonah loves a good nailbiter doesn’t he? Another one of his 9 lives used up, but how many does he have left? Did he take Ale’s Magic plot armor powers? So many questions.
Biggest Loser:
Forgive me Father for my sins (Parker) - Parker lost by a Top 3 slimmest margin in WFL history when he dropped his matchup against Wake and Baker Co. Perhaps as some sort of divine (but cruel) intervention, the previous namesake for Parker’s team, Rome Odunze, had perhaps his most impactful game yet for his team withhhh a whopping 0 points. He could have ran for a single yard, caught a pass for -9 yards, nearly anything would have done. But he could not, and Parker’s high scoring fantasy offense yet again was overshadowed by his abysmal fantasy defense. And thus, the entire WFL Weekly staff rejoiced in unison when they heard that 'Rome wasn’t built in a day' would be no more. Per Reid shed a tear of joy at the thought of having more characters to use in their trade tweets. So what did Parker do? He changed his name alright. His new team name: Forgive me Father for my sins. … We have seen a couple bad names, some strange names, and some Andy names. But they’ve all been at the VERY LEAST reasonable in terms of characters. No longer the case. We’ve got to hand it to you Parker, you’ve checked all the wrong boxes on this one. It is genuinely impressive. What does it mean? What are you asking forgiveness for? It is for your porous fantasy defense? Is it for WFL Weekly writers and per Reid having to try and make the team name make sense and fit in tweets? Are you begging your ancestors for forgiveness for what has been a truly abysmal stretch of fantasy team names? If recent history is any indication, any one of these sentences will be the next name for your team. You are officially on WFL Weekly probation. 2 strikes. And as Marlins fan, you know quite well what 3 strikes means. Do better.
Other Losers:
I ❤️ Ohio (Ale) - I ❤️ The Hospital over here. Ale’s players all have gotten whacked. It all went wrong when his relationship with the Jewish community was strained. Makes you think.
Marvin’s Room (Jack) - Jack see starting QB elbow go wrong way. Good representation of his season thus far. One more loss will be the end. Time to put up or shut up.
Donuts! (Sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.):
Yumby donuts… I love donuts.
🍩 Tyler Allgeier (Marvin’s Room) - Tyler not good. And then Tyler not bad. Then he good. Then he bad. Such is life.
🍩 Alvin Kamara (Rico Suave) - old man take a look at my life, I’m a lot like youuu. Old men can’t get it up.
🍩 Brashard Smith (Worse than WHL) - It is Hunting Season. Brashard is Brashid.
🍩 Samaje Perine (I ❤️ Ohio) - Perine, Perun pretty good, Peran out of gas.
🍩 Kayshon Boutte (I ❤️ Ohio) - Ale team covered in boo boos. Not a Boutteful sight.
🍩 Evan Engram (yakub) - Bo Nix throws to everyone else (including the defense). Andy is sad.
🍩 Rome Odunze (Forgive me Father for my sins) - A killer donut here. Must’ve been laced with not fun stuff. Parker angry.
Ale’s Trade to Trade Analysis:
*Powered by WussiesGPT*
Johnny Gets: Jerome Chevy and $17 Clams
Luckemias Gets: Harold Fannin Jr.
Before we dive into the analysis; there is a matter to discuss in the realm of health. In partnership with WFL Cares and our resident medical team; we need to diagnose a manager with Obessive Trade Disorder. Johnny has exhibited withdrawl symptoms, addiction to trading, and here at WFL Trade To Trade HQ are very concerned. We wish you the best in your path to recovery, and are here for you.
Let us dive in.
Johnny gets his clams from the largest wealth-holder in the league and get's the backup to the storied RB that Jeremias would not let go of in Week 3. Jeremias gets his TE; and finally can breathe a sigh of waiver relief. We like this trade on the Jeremias side; giving up a negligible player who takes up roster space and only giving a slice of his estate. Nicely done.
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UPDATE: JOHNNY LET GO OF CHEVY. JERE WON THE TRADE
THE WFL HIERARCHY
*Proudly sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc. & written by Drew*
The WFL Hierarchy is proud to be sponsored by Tough Cookie Inc.’s NEW Crack, Don’t Crumble Series! Don’t forget to check-in every week, we’ll be rolling out new items throughout the season.
Featured Cookie of the Week: Wake and Baked Biscotti
Rankings:
1. Wake and Baker Co.
2. yakub
3. Forgive me Father for my sins
4. Worse than WHL
5. Marvin’s Room
6. Hall of Fame Youtuber
7. Kraft YAC & Cheese
8. Rico Suave
9. I ❤️ Ohio
10. Build the Waller
11. The Bang Bros
12. Cumming…
Risers
Rico Suave
It ain’t much, but it’s honest work. We imagine that’s what Johnny says to himself after single handedly keeping the WFL trade market alive. And it’s paid off, as he’s constructed one of the nicer rosters given his preseason situation. Last week was a good reminder of what Brock Bowers can do, and it looks like Jeremias and Alejandro undersold his production, which Johnny took advantage of. We can’t move him any higher than this as things stand due to his lack of depth and a suspicious RB room, but Rico Suave slides up 2 spots to number 8.
Hall of Fame Youtuber
I really didn’t want to do this but Fabian has forced my hand. George Kittle’s return to the lineup (although he hasn’t done too much), Chase Brown’s turnaround, and 5 TDs for Davante Adams over his last 2 games suddenly has Hall of Fame Youtuber riding a 3 game win streak and has positioned himself to make a final push for the WFL playoffs. There’s some legitimacy behind this, but watch out as the dark life force known as Luckian grows stronger every week. Hall of Fame Youtuber moves up 2 spots to number 6.
Fallers
KRAFT YAC & Cheese
Injuries once again have befallen the WFL, this time claiming the heart and soul of Kraft YAC & Cheese. Known YAC lover Tucker Kraft tore his ACL and is done for the season. A crushing blow, both physically and spiritually, to one of the top teams that was building momentum heading into the home stretch of the season. We’ll see if Dalton Schultz can fill the hole that Tucker Kraft left, but we doubt it. Kraft YAC & Cheese moves down 3 spots to number 7.
Forgive me Father for my sins
The fall off of Rome Odunze needs to be studied. From weeks 1-4 he was the WR3. Since? WR78. In another crushing spiritual blow to a team, he has been so bad that it forced Parker to change his team name. Coupled with the fact that Terry McLaurin doesn’t appear to be getting any closer to playing, we had no choice but to move Forgive me Father for my sins down the Hierarchy. There’s always room for a bounce back, but for now they drop 2 spots to number 3.
Papa’s Picks:
WFL Weekly Game of the Week: Wake and Baker (Jonah) vs. Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian)
Two teams that are very good. They do lots of winning recently. Good teams make matchup good and fun. Exciting time is now, yes?
Upset Watch of the Week: The Bang Bros (Andres) vs. yakub (Andy)
Andy team has many ouchies. Andres team win game last week with many points. Time to bang?
Predictions: (Last Week’s results: 4-2 🙂
33-21 overall)
#4 I ❤️ Ohio (Ale) vs. #7 Forgive me Father for my sins (Parker) ✅
#8 Build the Waller (Eric) ✅ vs. #12 Cumming… (Daniel)
#11 The Bang Bros (Andres) ✅ vs. #3 yakub (Andy)
#10 Marvin's Room (Jack) ✅ vs. #5 Worse than WHL (Jeremias)
#1 KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew) ✅ vs. #9 Rico Suave (Johnny)
#2 Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah) ✅ vs. #6 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian)
Divisional Standings
(Divisional Record in parentheses)
Cummish Division
#1 KRAFT YAC & CHEESE (Drew): 7-2 (1-1)
#3 yakub (Andy): 6-3 (2-0)
#12 Cumming… (Daniel): 1-8 (0-2)
33176+ Division
#2 Wake and Baker Co. (Jonah): 6-3 (1-1)
#10 Marvin's Room (Jack): 3-6 (1-1)
#11 The Bang Bros (Andres): 3-6 (1-1)
sybau Division
#4 I ❤️ Ohio (Alejandro): 6-3 (2-0)
#6 Hall of Fame Youtuber (Fabian): 5-4 (0-2)
#8 Build The Waller (Eric): 4-5 (1-1)
Trade2Trade Division
#5 Worse than WHL (Jeremias): 5-4 (1-1)
#7 Rome wasn’t built in a day (Parker): 4-5 (2-0)
#9 Rico Suave (Johnny): 4-5 (0-2)
*Thanks for bearing with me this week, I refuse to take a week off so this is as close as it gets to taking a break*
A big shoutout to our sponsors Tough Cookie Inc. and WussiesGPT for helping the Donut section & Trade to Trade be what they are today, and to Drew for his power rankings!
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The only good luck that we here at WFL Weekly wish you, is good luck with injuries. Everything else is up to the higher powers.
*Note from the Editor*: Big thank you to Andy & Drew on the WFL Weekly Website team, you guys rock.